Laughter

Judy Wilson, June 1, 2010

 

I’ve been asked to put down on paper my experience with laughing or as it is sometimes called “holy laughter”.  I’ve resisted doing this because I don’t understand it myself and haven’t had a place in the Word of God to connect it to and have been unable to connect it to any visible fruit.  And I want to honor the request that has been made of me.  This is just the way I process things; I stay as open as I can to whatever God wants to do and when something happens, if it doesn’t run contrary to the Word, I let it happen.  There comes a time, however, when I can go no further until I have some place however tenuous, in the Word to hook it into and this morning, God, in His grace, did that for me – again.

In the Vineyard in the mid‘90’s God began to pour out signs and wonders.  It was such an exciting time and we were all thrilled to see the visible hand of God and the manifestations of His Presence.  People were shaking, prophesying, roaring, laughing and all manner of things.  It was really hard to remain in an upright position in the Presence of God during that time.  I was at church whenever it was open and bathed in Him.

For me there the timing was amazing because my son had been diagnosed with cancer on Valentine’s Day 1994. The provision for me was to be able to go to church to be in the Presence of my Father in order to go through what was happening at home.  Sometimes I laughed so hard I wound up on the floor with the tears streaming and being filled with joy, bubbling, overflowing, very undignified joy.  I also spent a lot of time on the floor sobbing out my pain, and other times just bathed in Shalom – but laughing was the hallmark, for me, of that time.  

It would be hard for me to say what ended that season – and indeed, it never stopped in some places, though it was definitely not as strong, but with the death of my son and the radical changes in my life that occurred simultaneously, I was launched on a new journey.  As I looked back on those years, I wanted so much to see the fruit and couldn’t so I pretty much dismissed it and went down a different, more practical path to the Lord.  I realize the judgments and resentments I developed, but there was always the gratitude for the laughter that enabled me to walk through that time. 

Now it’s a new century, a new congregation, a new time and much healing and repentance has happened.  I find myself with some trepidation, again in the midst of a group of people who are seeking an experience of God – and I find myself also desperately hungry to experience Him again.  People are seeing angels and “feeling” things and even telling me that I have three of my own angels.  Kids are drawing prophetic words for me that are spot on the mark and many of the things that I had judged and found wanting and walked away from, are being returned for me to pick up if I choose.   

Then, a lady named Dr. M. Houts comes one Sunday morning to our church, and as David introduces her to us, she is hit with the Holy Spirit and has to sit down.  Much to my surprise, the overflow from her hit me and I started laughing.  At first I just thought it was me and then I recognized the familiarity of the release into joy and the abandonment to Him that is so liberating and brings such freedom.  I wondered if David was going to go in that direction and let it go and forgo his message or continue on.  He continued on with his very timely message from Ephesians about warfare being the result of intimacy with God and I tried to curtail the laughter.  I suppose I could have stopped it or I could have gone outside and if I had felt like it was a distraction I would have.  However, the two seemed to co-exist rather well and I was laughing again for the first time in 15 years and was really reluctant to stop.  Laughing is good for people!!! 

This morning as I was trying to put this down on paper, the scripture came to my mind about “the joy of the Lord is your strength”.  When I looked it up in Nehemiah here’s what it said, “Then he said to them, ‘Go, eat rich food, drink sweet drinks, and send portions to those who can’t provide for themselves; for today is consecrated to our Lord.  Don’t be sad, because the joy of Adonai is your strength.”  It’s funny that since that time in church, I have been experiencing much doubt and depression and writing this out is returning to me my faith and joy.  He can do whatever He wants, because He is Adonai and He is GOOD.  I very much want to be in the river of God and to experience whatever good and perfect gift He is giving out in the moment.   

One last thought, the joy the people of Nehemiah’s’ day were experiencing was because they were a people called to be His own possession.  There is no mention anywhere in scripture (that I’ve found) that talks about “holy laughter” but we do always have that deep abiding joy that comes from being chosen by the Creator of the universe.